By Jennifer Parris

Let’s be real: social media can be scary when you have school-aged children. And with several studies suggesting that it can be detrimental to a child’s mental health, what can parents do when all their kids want to do is watch dance challenges on TikTok?

New Fairfield High School recently hosted a presentation aimed at addressing these concerns. Max Stossel, Founder and CEO of Social Awakening—an organization that educates parents, students, and educators about social media’s place in modern society—spoke to the audience about kids being online, and both its advantages and disadvantages.

Although we inherently understand that social media is often a highlight reel of curated content designed to showcase perfection, it’s easy—especially for teens—to believe it’s real. “One thing that has me concerned about social media is that people seem to care more about displaying a picture-perfect life than living their actual lives,” said Stossel.

So why are so many of us (adults included) obsessed with social media? Stossel suggests it’s a question worth asking ourselves. “It has never been easier to run away from ourselves,” he said. “We’re pulling out our phones during moments of boredom, loneliness, anxiety—you name it.”

Stossel also touched on the unhealthy comparisons that social media fosters, especially among teen girls, who often aspire to unrealistic and impossible beauty standards fueled by filters and heavily edited content. He warned about the pressure of chasing likes, gaining followers, and the endless cycle of beauty comparisons that can impact self-esteem. He emphasized the importance of parents being aware of behavioral changes in their children that might be linked to app usage.

While social media offers entertainment and connectivity, it can also be detrimental to academic performance. Stossel cited a study showing that students who left their phones in another room performed better on cognitive tests than those who kept them nearby—even if their phones were turned off. This is why he strongly supports the “Away for the Day” initiative, a policy New Fairfield schools have adopted, requiring students to keep their phones in lockers during school hours. “As a school, it is the single most helpful thing we can do for our kids,” said Stossel. “Without their phones, they learn focus, patience, how to handle discomfort—and even how to walk across a room and start a conversation.”

During the Q&A session that followed, Stossel fielded questions on limiting screen time, ensuring online safety, and how much monitoring is too much. He stressed the importance of leading by example: parents glued to Instagram or TikTok shouldn’t expect their kids to act differently. Other tips he shared included using an alarm clock (instead of a phone) to wake up and turning off autoplay features on apps like YouTube.

As addictive as social media can be, it still can’t compare to the real-life moments we spend with our loved ones. Stossel told a story of how he asked students to reflect on a time when they felt most alive, free, and connected to others. Not surprisingly, these moments rarely involved a smartphone. Instead, they centered around being with friends and family—and all in the real world.